I didn't send out the Newsletter last week, and I'm sorry - but I just couldn't do it. I'm still not 100% sure what the heck I'm doing, but I'm here. And damn it, I'm committed to being a light in this world. :)
Maybe you noticed last week, and maybe you didn't - but for some reason I just could NOT send an email out to you all. I didn't know where I fit in to the scope of everything. I didn't know how I could be of service to this extraordinary and beautiful community, without ALSO contributing to the noise. I didn't know what to do, so I hit pause.
I'm sharing this with you, because my feeling is: I'm not alone in this. Here we are, in November - month eleven of this unbelievable year. And yes. It is MY natural state to be a source of joy, love and light. That's who I am, but it's also who I choose to be.
But something was different last week. I keep hearing terms like, "spiritual bypassing" and "toxic optimism" tossed around the internet, and quite frankly - I get a little offended. It pisses me off when people make blanket statements like that. And then it hit me: that's the problem. It's this perpetual belief that if someone in "that community" does something a certain way, then "they ALL do". It's this "us vs. them", "you're wrong vs. I'm right", "this is how you do it" vs. "no, this way" CRAP, and none of that is helpful.
So for today, here's what I'll say, just in case you want some support to hit pause as well:
if you need to ball your eyes out, do it.
if you need to scream into a pillow, do it.
if you need to go for a walk, do it.
if you need to stay in bed all day, do it.
if you need to have a dance party in your living room, do it.
if you need to call your bestie and talk about stupid shit that doesn't mean anything, do it.
if you need to watch a comedy and laugh your ass off, do it.
if you need to do yoga and meditate for 4 hours, do it.
if you need to paint a painting, or write a song, do it.
if you need to find a therapist, do it.
if you need to listen to your favorite song on repeat 30 times, do it.
if you need to have ice cream for dinner, do it.
if you need to light a candle and sit there in silence, do it.
if you need to call in that favor, so you can have an hour without the kids, do it.
as long as you are NOT causing harm to yourself or others, and you can find a healthy way to express whatever emotions are running through your body - PLEASE do it.
One of the GIFTS I've seen in this crazy-ass year, has been the movement towards normalizing Self-Care. One of the most BEAUTIFUL things I saw last week, was a variety of people just doing whatever THEY needed to do, to get thru the day - without shame, without guilt and without judgment of one another. It was extraordinary to witness, and something I hope we continue to work towards.
Like it or not, we have a long way to go, and a really tricky season to navigate ahead of us. BUT - we are also UNBELIEVABLY resilient creatures!