Full Transparency & My Whole Messy Heart
I didn't send out the Newsletter last week, and I'm sorry - but I just couldn't do it. I'm still not 100% sure what the heck I'm doing, but I'm here. And damn it, I'm committed to being a light in this world. :)
Maybe you noticed last week, and maybe you didn't - but for some reason I just could NOT send an email out to you all. I didn't know where I fit in to the scope of everything. I didn't know how I could be of service to this extraordinary and beautiful community, without ALSO contributing to the noise. I didn't know what to do, so I hit pause.
I'm sharing this with you, because my feeling is: I'm not alone in this. Here we are, in November - month eleven of this unbelievable year. And yes. It is MY natural state to be a source of joy, love and light. That's who I am, but it's also who I choose to be.
But something was different last week. I keep hearing terms like, "spiritual bypassing" and "toxic optimism" tossed around the internet, and quite frankly - I get a little offended. It pisses me off when people make blanket statements like that. And then it hit me: that's the problem. It's this perpetual belief that if someone in "that community" does something a certain way, then "they ALL do". It's this "us vs. them", "you're wrong vs. I'm right", "this is how you do it" vs. "no, this way" CRAP, and none of that is helpful.
So for today, here's what I'll say, just in case you want some support to hit pause as well:
if you need to ball your eyes out, do it.
if you need to scream into a pillow, do it.
if you need to go for a walk, do it.
if you need to stay in bed all day, do it.
if you need to have a dance party in your living room, do it.
if you need to call your bestie and talk about stupid shit that doesn't mean anything, do it.
if you need to watch a comedy and laugh your ass off, do it.
if you need to do yoga and meditate for 4 hours, do it.
if you need to paint a painting, or write a song, do it.
if you need to find a therapist, do it.
if you need to listen to your favorite song on repeat 30 times, do it.
if you need to have ice cream for dinner, do it.
if you need to light a candle and sit there in silence, do it.
if you need to call in that favor, so you can have an hour without the kids, do it.
as long as you are NOT causing harm to yourself or others, and you can find a healthy way to express whatever emotions are running through your body - PLEASE do it.
One of the GIFTS I've seen in this crazy-ass year, has been the movement towards normalizing Self-Care. One of the most BEAUTIFUL things I saw last week, was a variety of people just doing whatever THEY needed to do, to get thru the day - without shame, without guilt and without judgment of one another. It was extraordinary to witness, and something I hope we continue to work towards.
Like it or not, we have a long way to go, and a really tricky season to navigate ahead of us. BUT - we are also UNBELIEVABLY resilient creatures!
We are capable of great things. We are capable of loving one another even if we see things differently. We are capable of being beacons of hope for each other. We are capable of surviving so much more than we think. We are capable of learning a new way of doing things. We are capable of admitting we're wrong. We are capable of asking for forgiveness. We are capable of being better listeners.
We are capable of finding AND being the love, the light, the joy, and the gift in ANY situation. I guarantee it. We just have to start. We have to try. We have to keep waking up, showing up, saying thank you, and asking what we can do to help. It DOES start with us.
But first, we pause.(THAT'S Mindfulness, btw!) If you need to throw a fit or eat some bonbons, please do it. Rest. Ask for help. Take a deep breath. Cry. Laugh. Take a shower. Make your bed. Look yourself in the mirror with all the love in your heart. Feel the sun on your skin.
And then we rally. Then we do the next right thing. And the "next right thing" for me this week, was to send this email. Full transparency and my whole messy heart.
I've got PLENTY of amazing things to share, fun stuff in the works, and mind-blowing freebies for you, but for right now - you've got me and a piece of my journey.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for being here. My sincere hope, is that in some way, me sharing my truth has helped you today. If not - thanks for reading this far and know how grateful I am for you being in this Community.
Keep shining that light my friend, and I'll do the same.
Much more fun & exciting stuff coming your way soon. But for today - I'm sending you big virtual hugs & oceans of gratitude.